Ooooh, I get a lot of this stuff. Here’s one of my personal favorites: One of the students has been accused of having an affair with a teacher. Getting my temperature taken proves it wasn’t me.
It is completely legal to put school children up for auction.
Penguins can fly! I’ve seen it. 
Sharks can chase you while on land. 
To get said shark to leave, flood the land with water.
umm mine would be one that has been invlovded in my dreams a few nights in a row now, i have “crystal or gold seeds” to grow the ore =/, cant memba which one it wasd tho lol
Here’s one I like: If you tie a message to a hand grenade and lob it over a wall to the enemy, they will run towards it and pick it up to read the message. 
Mmm…
A tyrannosaurus will die if you put a cat into its nostrils.
You cannot go to Peru unless you take some yellow stones with you.
Ghosts need to eat crumbs to survive.
Casting a porridge bowl at your mother’s forehead is a perfectly valid reason to become a pirate.
Can I post one of my dad’s? He was teaching me math cause I was homeschooled and he fell asleep and said “You can’t put on a puppet show and steal someone else’s act”
Not sure if sleep talking has anything to do with what he was dreaming, but that was years ago and I still make fun of him about it
Glass is actually viscous goo.
It is perfectly reasonable to fly through a wall, window, and screen.
My dog can do trigonometry.
F# Major to C Major is a perfectly acceptable modulation.
Owning a Nintedo DS gives you automatic control over every robot ever created.
Imperial Star Destroyers can fit in ancient attics that are barely holding up.
Cars vanish when you throw snowballs at them.
I can fit anything and everything into my pockets, even though they aren’t made by Old Navy.
Close enough 
Awesome… Best modulation ever. I need to write some music like that lol. Oh and most of the song will be based on the whole-tone scale 
Apparently, I thought it was acceptable to pull a fire alarm that looked like a preschooler’s toy. 'Course…the alarm went off anyway.
It was Bach.
Let me know when you finish.
Ah, tritones to my ears.
What I’ve learned from dreams:
Field trips to canada are free.
Never tell a resturant owner their fries are to greasy - they’ll summon the entire city/town to attack you.
Hyperlinks not only take you to places on the internet, but also to places in real life, and back.
Black people with glowing yellow eyes strangling you is a common thing for teenagers to watch and laugh at. (My mom’s dream…)
Very deep ponds turn shallow when stuffed animals come in.
When band teachers become drunk, they offer you pre-chewed muffins, and throw life-size pirate ship pillows at you.
New super mario bros. is also for wii.
When you die, you still watch the rest of your family getting chased by bulls.
The devil is a jack-in-the-box.
So is god.
And finally: Dream signs occuring are just normal. You aren’t dreaming at all, so, having six fingers probably means that you just walked by a toxic waste dump.
Was lucid, lost lucidity, I thought that I had woken up, but I woke up where the dream “ended”. How strange, but here we are. I should still be dreaming, but as you can see, I’m awake now. Wow that cat is horribly skinny and weird, its mother is a bunny so it must be a bunny too, oh now it is humping her.
You can kill colomian narcotraficants that look a lot like Juanes by pulling their theeth off with a string.
Last year I ripped off said colombian’s eye by accident. this year too, but it’s bigger.
If you destroy a chef’s bakery (for second time!) take him to your home and let popeye and olive build him a new one made of wood with dozens of carvings.
This has happened to me SO many times. Especially with PK/TK dreams.
I must try this.
im gonna try “going through” a hyperlink (in real life aswell as LDing)
If you want to read the dream about the hyperlink, go to my DJ…