Mecha: This is something I’ve been meaning to post for a long time, but never got around to it until now. (I blame Tal and Kittymouse for reminding me this thread existed ) It’s an account of Sai’s tumultuous early days, something I’ve referenced in the past, but never elaborated on.
Way back when I had first brought Saichania to life, she was incredibly antagonistic towards me and absolutely resented\was unnerved by\frightened of her ‘nonreality’ and the absolute control I potentially had over her thoughts, actions, her very existence even. For me, it was the turning point between thinking of mind-characters as merely tools or elaborate puppets and thinking of them as actual entities with their own thoughts, feelings and concerns. It also made me question the morality of what I was doing, as creating self-aware characters suddenly felt uncomfortably like playing god. I didn’t know what to do with Saichania, as she still resented and mistrusted me, and the constant conflict was starting to drain me emotionally. I couldn’t let things continue as they were, I had no idea how to help assuage her condition, and I couldn’t bring myself to simply erase her from being or forcibly re-mold her personality, not after my new perspective on things. Looking back on it, it was somewhat ironic that our troubled circumstances would be solved by another troubled circumstance IRL. I was really concerned about a family member at the time and I couldn’t deal with the emotional drain of both things at once, so I asked Sai if we could call a truce for the time being, at least until I was able to deal with it again. To my relief, she agreed to it. It was the first step towards mending the rift between us. In the coming days she mellowed considerably and even began to accept her state of reality somewhat. On my part, I promised her that I would never deliberately manipulate her thoughts or actions, or do anything to subvert her free-will, a promise I have extended to all my other mind-characters and kept to this day. (note: promising not to subvert free-will is not the same as passively allowing them free reign to do anything) This ‘Bill of Rights’ further eased the concerns she had and it wasn’t long before we actually became friends. Nowadays, Saichania is the mind-character ‘closest’ to me as well as the most active in day-to-day conversation. She is one of the most vibrant and kind people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.