It doesn’t seem as if I was lucid tonight. In the evening, I took a shower to relax myself and then made a feeble attempt at meditation, but my mind was restless and wandered. Heck, this entry is pointless, considering there was zero lucidity involved. Nevertheless, I feel the need to update daily.
As a note of warning, I put down my unabridged, full entry.
[spoiler]I was in my room, and it was a very early morning, considering it was still dark outside. I wanted to take a shower, but for some inexplicable reason, a wild ferret was in my room. Likely, it snuck in somehow. The thing looked scruffy and was roughly the size of my foot. I wanted it to leave, but wasn’t exactly sure how. Throughout my room and bathroom, there were lots of clothes and other trinkets (like shelves) where it could hide below. My attempts were somewhat coherent at first - I would not dare to touch it directly, and was trying to scare it onto the balcony. However, it kept trying to get back in. Increasingly frustrated, my methods became more hectic. It bit my feet in retaliation. Conclusively, I became so frustrated, I stomped it dead (suddenly, I was wearing shoes). I could not hear or feel the impact, and the ferret seemed to be killed before it could make a sound. I could feel something squishy on my shoe, but didn’t look down. In the aftermath, I started to feel sorry.
I can remember being outside, and talking to my mother, who was slightly in the distance. We were in some park-like area with an urban area seconds away. It was still dark. I tried to approach the topic of the ferret I killed in frustration, but would not tell her directly. In the end, I started comparing the ferret to my deceased pet rat.
Later, I found myself in the backseat of our car. I can clearly remember my parents, but I’m not sure whether my sister was there. The trip started out in a city-like environment and there were quite a lot of tall buildings. This time, however, it was day, but it was cloudy and grey. Supposedly, this was a place we only recently moved into. I looked forth towards some buildings, and knew that behind those buildings there was a school (which I would go to). Wondering what it was called, I asked. I got an answer. Since then, the answer has been forgotten, but it was somewhat short, likely an acronym or abbreviation of some sort.
A short time later, I came to my senses and found myself incredibly tired. Apparently, we were now in some field-like area, or perhaps it was some sort of place for farms and plantations. In the distance, I saw houses and assumed it was a sub-urban village. Either way, the sky had cleared up, and the street has been replaced by a dirt road. Tired but curious, I asked my father why we were here. He told me that he had to visit an acquaintance, and that it considered a large sum of money he let him borrow. Supposedly, this money was for some eye-based operation.
I faintly remember being in a town with narrow streets and towering buildings, roughly two to three floors at average. The buildings looked slightly timeworn.
In disregard to the previously established setting, I found myself in some sort of videogame shop. Apparently, my parents were going to buy my sister Pokémon X and Y. My father was reluctant to pay the price, wondering whether the investment would be worth it. I suddenly remember how a large part of my recently received games were quite old, being either Gameboy Advance games or non-existing entries of existing series. I also faintly remember what seemed to be a bootleg Pokémon game, but not much detail on that. I asked my mother where she had brought these games, considering I personally had a lot of trouble with it. She tells me the name of the store (which I forget after the dream). Afterwards, I decided to look through various products. I saw a Wii-U, but considering I already had it, I ignored it. Opposite of said Wii-U, I found a copy of what was supposed to be Half-Life 1. It was an orange box, and it had a rather strange title (which, once more, I cannot remember). Looking on the back of the box for pictures, I saw that the game was graphically enhanced from the original, but was still a far cry from the sequel. The frightened NPCs who ran and were eaten looked glossy and were very pointy. It seemed as if the polygons were stretchable in some form.
The dream switched away from my own perspective, and I was now watching some trailer of Half-Life. It detailed some untrue things. First, Gordon was wandering about in the underground lab, and a chubby monster showed up, cartoony in proportions but detailed in textures (albeit they were primitive and blurry). The trailer told us that you had choices and that you could play the game whatever way you wanted. The monster chased Gordon for a while, but he jumped down a big square hole. Once in there, there was a pathway partially obstructed by a grate. Gordon crouched and passed the grate. The monster was just too tall for the grate, and didn’t bother crouching or anything, and instead continued its running animation towards Gordon.
Next thing I know, I’m playing some odd, unspecified game. It seems that creating stuff was part of it, but also had other elements. Currently, I can say that it was a strange mixture of Minecraft and Dishonored, with all the coherence ripped away. I apparently shrunk myself down to the size of a mouse, and build this tiny door. Suddenly, a rat came through, upright and with cartoony proportions. In one hand it had a spear. The rat grumbled a bit, and walked off. I considered the rat a bug, and tried to think of a way to get rid of it.[/spoiler]
Edit: I was amazed at how I managed to get roughly 2,000 words, but then I realized that I accidentally copied it twice. Whoops.
And now that’s done…
I mainly base my statement on the fact that I had some ridiculously long dreams that, by definition, were lucid dreams. However, they were dumb and incomprehensible to my waking self. The dreams felt false and empty, and I don’t see it any better than any old regular dream. I did not feel I was myself. On the other hand, I had some short dreams, and I felt so much more in control of myself.
The latter’s what I want - I want to wake up from a dream, and feel as if I’m the same person I was in the dream. Not watching some idiot run around and do ■■■■ that I already told myself I wouldn’t do.
I’m aware my reasoning is a bit off, but… well yeah, that’s the general gist of things. I just don’t consider the concept of time important. There’s nothing more to it. And if I did, then it would be something that would come later, after I mastered whatever it is I talked above.
But pay me no heed, you can have your fun. :3
[i]Edit: … … … … … … . … . . . .
And now I just realized that the task is to ‘ride’. Thanks, subconsciousness. I change my mind. You ain’t a piece of crap. :>
…unless, of course, it doesn’t count because I was not lucid. Either way, I found it interesting nonetheless. ^[1]
/i ↩︎