I find it difficult to stay separated from the HI, if I focus on remaining aware I never slip off into the dream… (I can’t help getting surprised by the effects of SP, how your body goes numb and so, thus waking myself up!! Not good)
On the other hand, if I let go the HI swallows me up. Just last night for, example, I was drifiting off and started counting (2,4,8,16,32) -like so- and then back down to 2. (I heard using logical thought helps keep you aware).
Not that it helps me much!
because suddenly I find myself mixed up with the images… (situation changed from me counting and watching a friend of mine carrying wood or something and BAM I’m helping him load logs onto shelves and I find it completely normal. Of course I snap out of it, realising I’m getting caught up with the HI. Then I get that great jolt, where you kind of get ‘thrown’ back into your body. Feeling myself in or partially in SP I get all excited 'Wow, awesome" and so on, my heart starts pumping a little to fast and I become more aware.
From there I have to calm down, and basically start over (another 10-20 minutes). So you see, I reach the boundary line but I can’t manage to remain aware when I cross. Since I always ‘black out’, and when I become lucid, it’s always relying on luck or ‘happening’ to chance a RC…
(if I could manage to not jolt myself back awake… Those moments that I realize I’m mixed up with my HI, it actually could be the start of a dream! I would have to remain aware without getting excited about the fact I’m watching a dream being created!)
A couple of days ago, I was drifting off as well, watching the HI. I manage to envision a small circle, at first it changed size, color and perspective randomly. I started losing awareness, but the circle suddenly became fixed… And it aqquired a pitch black intensity…
I was still aware so I decided to watch it… Slowly, it began to grow, (all this happened very quickly but I’m describing it more how I felt it to be)
Well, it began to grow and I had the ‘knowing’ or feeling that THAT was the entrance to a dream, like a bubble it grew and I ‘thought’ I saw movement inside it. Well it grew until almost engulfing my third eye or mind eye, and I saw that it was like a universe fit into a growing bubble, if I stepped into it I would be in the dream.
Sadly all these thoughts got me overworked and I ‘jolted’ myself awake, and very awake indeed… 2 hours had past since I had gone to bed and I was wide awake!!!
No WILD’s for me I guess!