EN | NL | FR
Current Wings Quest 129
Pause Time

Internet-friends vs. "real"-friends

Post new topic Reply to topic

Author  Message 
Posts: 3575
Joined: 03 Apr 2004
Last Visit: 29 Nov 2011
LD count: yes
Location: hare krishna hare krishna, krishna krishna hare hare! hare rama hare rama, rama rama hare hare!
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

internet friends are very wonderful and interesting and the highest function of the internet is to unite people in physical by meeting and then joining in communities

this hasn't really been happening yet but i think it might soon, close knit soul friends finding one another and going to the land.

its in regards to being a speciliast

you are a sun-yogi
you are a matchbox car nut

how many of you are there? a handful, and they are scattered

its a puzzle game.


back to top
Tundra
Wolf of The Dawn
Dream Deity
Tundra has successfully completed an LD4all Quest!
26
Posts: 974
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Last Visit: 07 Dec 2012
Location: Finding my feet.
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

I've always been VERY skeptical of internet relationships. When I went round my friends house when we were both 13 and she went on msn, she has something like 400 contacts. I asked her where she got them all from, and she said: "Oh, I put my addy on MySpace"..

O.O

She doesn't actually KNOW half these people and I think it's sickening, especially when she THEN complains that she's met lots of weirdos, when it's her own bl**dy fault! She makes problems for herself, and, though I love her to bits, it's her that gives internet relationships a bad name!

When I joined LD4all, I never thought that I'd make such good friends, to me, friendship is when you can trust a person, and have a good laugh with them. A friend is someone who likes you for who YOU are, not who they think you are, so admittedly, this can be a problem.

However, you can learn a lot about people over a discussion forum. No, I don't mean like age, location and other meanless things... I mean their personality.

And if you are open about your feelings with this/these person/people...then I don't see why you cannot truely become good friends.

I never thought that I'd have friends all over the world, let alone on the internet! But I do, I feel as if I'm able to talk to the DarkSiDers about anything, let alone the other forum friends I've made here! I trust them, and know that they are there for me. And they really cheer me up at the end of a rough day.

I value their friendship more than that of some other friends I have "IRL"...just because they value me for exactly who I am.

*grins* I don't know what I'd do without you guys! ^^


back to top
FiXato
(mobile) IRC-Addict
Astral Explorer
35
Posts: 479
Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Last Visit: 31 Oct 2018
LD count: 6
Location: Ceeia
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

bruno wrote:
that being said, i think the fact that i call people by their proper names (whenever i know them and am allowed to use them) makes it clear i lean towards a Siw way of life. and i do have contacts over the internet that i do consider to be friends --- great friends, even.

That is something I still find strange to see in public forums and other internet media. Since for me there is a reason that I use a nickname to represent myself, as I don't want strangers to instantly see what my real name is. And as soon as someone else starts referring to your real name in public posts, then it defeats the whole purpose of using a nickname. But then again, that's a bit offtopic and we've talked about that together before

bruno wrote:
i don't like the whole "best friend" deal, because (like love) this is an expression that mixes a lot of different --- sometimes incompatible --- conceptions.

That I completely agree on.. the 'best -' concept is something that can be frustrating, since it means you put a value on different kinds of friendship.. which is something I've seen do bad things to bonds between people.. Friendship shouldn't be about competition..


back to top
The HB
LD4all addict
LD4all addict
28
Posts: 2771
Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Last Visit: 31 Aug 2019
LD count: 11
Location: Earth, welcome!
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

I think internet friends are just as good as RL friends. Actually, maybe even better, because people accept each other better over the internet.

However, the only problem is that if most of your friends are on the internet, you can be subject to some mocking from people who know this fact. Although I do pride myself on having no life.

I agree with what the other Dark SiDers have said here, that the D-SD has turned us into a close group of friends, and we can talk about almost anything. I find myself talking to them more, and RL people less. I just can't wait until I finally meet some of the D-SD IRL!



Link to My DJ: ld4all.com
back to top
Sakoda
That's my name.
cookie lover
12
Scribes
Posts: 1656
Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Last Visit: 27 Jun 2018
LD count: '09 about 4
Location: Terhe is an icaseinrng duobt of the rtiealy of tihs rlieaty
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

*hopes you will not regret meeting me * ebil
Ahem ..
My mom once said "Stop chatting and start talking with real people" ohno
I find this a pity because , altough I know a bunch of people In so called "Real" Live ,
I also very much enjoy talking with persons which are outside of my "horizon" so to say.

Individuals whom I wouldn't meet otherwise (be that because they kive somewhere else than me , be that because i don't go places they go), people with different opinions , people with commons interests.

I have gotten to know a number of persons online to which I am now quite close.
Call it friendship or something less , i know them and they know me an that is that .
(maybe i will re-write this post later .. or ask it to be deleted if i think its stupid ..)


back to top
NeOMG
I dodge bullets.
Astral Explorer
27
Posts: 477
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Last Visit: 24 Jul 2009
LD count: 17
Location: The Matrix
 
PostPosted: Sat 19 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

HebrewB wrote:
I agree with what the other Dark SiDers have said here, that the D-SD has turned us into a close group of friends, and we can talk about almost anything. I find myself talking to them more, and RL people less. I just can't wait until I finally meet some of the D-SD IRL!


QFT, Quoted For Truth

I've stopped talking with "real" people and am always talking with Dark SiDers. Go on, ask any of the other Dark SiDers and they'll tell you i'm on 90% of the time. I go on just to talk to them, because they're just great friends who I can talk about anything with. I talk about them so much more openly and comfortably than the majority of the people i find in "real life". And I too, just can't wait until i finally meet another Dark SiDer in person.


back to top
Tundra
Wolf of The Dawn
Dream Deity
Tundra has successfully completed an LD4all Quest!
26
Posts: 974
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Last Visit: 07 Dec 2012
Location: Finding my feet.
 
PostPosted: Sun 20 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

*grins* I can't wait to meet you either OWA, and Sakoda, AND HB, and DarkRaven, and Leem... wink5

:D It could go on and on!!


back to top
Morpheus :nuu:
this is custom title.
Dream Deity
25
Posts: 572
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Last Visit: 19 Dec 2010
LD count: 6
Location: Florida, USA
 
PostPosted: Mon 28 Jul, 2008  Reply with quote

Internet Friends- I have made a lot of friends over this forum. It's fun to talk about LDs, or even just hang out. But, I trust (most) people IRL more than the people on this forum. I think that you need to actually talk to somebody, person to person to actually get to know someone. It's just that you can tell a lot about a person just by how they talk or by their facial expressions.
I act differently here than in real life. In this forum, I don't really care about embarrassment, humiliation, or how somebody thinks of me. I talk less IRL for this reason. But, I think posting here may of even helped me overcome my fear to talk to new people.
But, I know some of my internet friends more than most of my real life friends.


back to top
Wyrmfell
For Now, I Am
Astral Explorer
27
Posts: 349
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Last Visit: 16 Oct 2015
LD count: >100
Location: Vancouver, WA
 
PostPosted: Sat 02 Aug, 2008  Reply with quote

One Winged Angel wrote:


I've stopped talking with "real" people and am always talking with Dark SiDers. Go on, ask any of the other Dark SiDers and they'll tell you i'm on 90% of the time. I go on just to talk to them, because they're just great friends who I can talk about anything with. I talk about them so much more openly and comfortably than the majority of the people i find in "real life". And I too, just can't wait until i finally meet another Dark SiDer in person.


Woah there.

I agree that Internet friends are, in some cases, just as valid as RL friends, but you have to try to maintain a balance. Learning how to deal with RL socializing, while not as smooth as the Internet version, is necessary to function in soceity.
In my mind, it's an even deeper experience talking about your secrets to an RL friend, because you have no username to hide behind, so you're trusting yourself to this other person.

To get science-y on you, the human brain is a naturally social organ. Face-to-face communication releases dopamine, an essential neurochemical for happiness and mental stability.

Don't get me wrong. The people on LD4All are amazing, and I love talking with them. However, one needs that RL side as well. To be honest, I spoke to almost no one outside of my family and coworkers my freshman year of high school, thinking that as long as I had the internet and forums, I didn't need RL socialization. I had friends with whom I was just as close as I imagine you are with the Dark SiDe.

I was wrong. After loosening up over the summer and trying to be more assertive in school, I found that RL friends are an entirely different experience. Having people actually there makes it more fun, plus you're not limited to only what you can do on the computer with them. I love talking on IRC, but sometimes I just want to have some people over to play Rock Band, or simpley hang out in the backyard.

I'm not insulting you or anything, I'm just asking you to try making some "real" friends. Remember, your brain's communication areas didn't evolve for IRC.


back to top
NeOMG
I dodge bullets.
Astral Explorer
27
Posts: 477
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Last Visit: 24 Jul 2009
LD count: 17
Location: The Matrix
 
PostPosted: Sat 02 Aug, 2008  Reply with quote

I'm not gonna go all D-SD fanboy on you, as that would ruin such an intelligent and, civilized conversation. I do have RL friends, you dont live for 16 years and not make any. I do enjoy their company and the face to face-ness you get.

The thing is that the Dark SiDers are some of the best friends I've ever had, yet they live all over the world. Real life friends are limited by the ones who live nearby you. So far I've only found a couple as good as that. Other friends are cool every now and then, but most people aren't "your type" and they may get boring or even annoying if you hang out with them too long.

Oh and on a side note, a big reason why I've stopped talking to RL people, besides having the D-SD here, is that It' summer and I dont feel like leaving my house


back to top
cuckooman4
New member
New member
24
Posts: 9
Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Last Visit: 16 Aug 2008
LD count: -1
 
PostPosted: Sat 02 Aug, 2008  Reply with quote

I consider internet friends basically the same as RL friends, except that I won't tell them where I live.

back to top
Scarecrow
Logos.
cookie lover
28
Posts: 2008
Joined: 15 Aug 2007
Last Visit: 05 Dec 2010
Location: Too far from the Ocean.
 
PostPosted: Mon 04 Aug, 2008  Reply with quote

Internet friends are nothing compaired to real life friends, with few exceptions. The reason is experience. With a RL friend, you go through a lot, experiences that you can't have over the internet, things that bring you closer and make you stronger.

Plus you never know who exactly your talking to.



Current LD goal(s): Have an SD with that cute little crow.
back to top
Display posts from previous:
Post new topic Reply to topic

print  

All times are GMT + 2 Hours
Jump to:  


Powered by phpBB
LD4all ~ spreading the art and knowledge of lucid dreaming online since 1996 ~