-What’s the difference between roastbeef and peasoup?
anyone can roastbeef.
Here are some jokes that I have but they may offend, PM if you want to hear the punchline. And that Muffin joke, my friend came up with that joke in 2000 and sent it to an online company for a joke contest and he won the contest.
Here, I’ll just tell the jokes and PM me for the punchline
-Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
-What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
To the mod, these jokes are not “xxx” but some may consider them in poor taste, which is why I’m not posting them. If you feel that they are too bad then just PM me and I’ll edit the post(or you can do it)
“I allways knew my mother hated me as a child, my bath toys were toasters and radios…”
A man had three daughters, he is in the lounge one day and the eldest daughter walks in and asks
“Daddy, why did you name me Rose?”
“Because a rose petal fell onto your head when you were born” he replied
“Oh, okay then~” she responded and skipped out of ther room.
The second daughter comes in, her name is Teabag, she says:
“Daddy, why am I called Teabag?”
“Because your uncle dropped a teabag onto your head when you were born” he replied
“Oh, right…” she responded and walked out.
The third daughter enters, her name is Brick and she says:
“FaaUNGOOg”
Kenai told those to me
Do you know why the swedish have round houses? cos they dont want the dogs to wee on the corners
Why do the swedish carry cardoors in the desert? so they can open the window when it gets hot
And I told those to Kenai
A norwegian was visiting Great Britain and was driving around in his car when he hear on the radio that some idiot was driving on the wrong side of the road.
Then he said: One? I have seen hundreds of them
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Norway?
They couldn’t find three wise men.
In Sweden we tell stories about Norwegians being stupid and in Norway they tell stories about people from Sweden being stupid. And they funny thing is that it is the same stories.
not exactly a joke but… mabye not even fun but many jokes arent :
Anyone here?
im here
I know u are
realy… how?
i am you
you are?
yes…
oh…
?
i didnt know…
you didnt?
nope…
oh…
…
now you doo
yes…
thanks for telling me
no problem
Kenai, please keep this room ontopic on dreaming only…
ok…
i will stop
Change of Channel
HELLO!!!
im so lonely
me too
i know
now i know im you so dont bother anoying me…
youre the one who is anoying
take your split personality to a different channel where im not!
why do you care
i dont!
well you seem quite angry
ahh… STOP bugging me!!
haha
AAAHHH!!!
youre getting angry
no im not
yes you are…
nope
YES You are!!!
nope… sorry
youre driving me crazy!!!
haha!! now youre angry
Kenai jumps off a cliff… landing on Rut
Rutt broke his back
HAHA!!!
what you mean HAHA!!?
i luagh at you
how can you luagh at ur self?
i am…
have you forgot
forgot what
that we just was yelling at eacho… aaa…
I know quite a lot of jokes. A few opf which may be classed as “In bad taste” so i won’t post them. But here are the rest.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
What do you call a walk with no legs? A raisin.
Why did people worship the sock? Because it was Holey.
A man walked into a bar, he said “OWWWWWW!”
A man listened to the match, he burnt his ear.
@ Magnus. We have those sort of jokes aswell, just about irish people. Here is one of them.
An irishman gets locked in a food store overnight and starved to death.
How did the irishman break his leg when sweeping leaves? He fell out of the tree.
I’ll stop the irish jokes now. I will now move onto Blonde jokes.
A man needed his porch painted. He called a painter and the painter came. She was tall, blonde and carried a ladder with her for the painting. He asked her to paint the porch, and she said okay and walked away to start the painting. 10 minutes later she returns and says she has done it. He gives her the money and she then says “By the way, that’s not a porsche, its a ferrari!”
lol this isnt really a joke but its worth to read ok
– Two different men were driving on different cars on a foggy night. ( fake story yet funny) Both cars were later discovered twenty feet from each other and were on the side of the road… The cars were not damages yet both men had bloody noses and brain-damage… the question is… what happened…
–answers— it was foggy so both men stuck their heads out the window and eventually crashed heads with each other when driving by!
Here’s a typical “norwegian, swedish and danish” joke, excluding the danish guy.
A norwegian and swedish guy were at the movies watching a western movie. Then the norwegian guy bet 100 kr that the indian would jump outta the rock and shoot the cowboy, the swedish bet against him. They watched on and the indian did jump outta the rock and shoot the cowboy. Then the norwegian guy says “Ah, forget the bet, I’ve watched the movie twice so it’s not fair to bet. I knew what would happen.”, then the swedish guy replies “Yeah, me too, and I never even had the slightest idea of the cowboy wanting to do the same mistake twice.”